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Again, I don’t think it makes you bad, but I have to look out for myself. So if you do want an exclusive relationship with me, let’s go all the way. And if you do want it, let’s clear the slate and commit to that.” Now…I’m not going to be in something where I have to worry or wonder that the person I’m exclusive with is as ‘into’ the relationship as I am. I’m really not one to spoonfeed words to anyone reading my articles. However, in this case, I feel that the conversation points I laid out above do more to instruct than even my explaining of my viewpoint would have…At this moment, you are reading into the situation negatively, assuming that he has bad motives or could be playing you.The fact remains though that you don’t know, but hopefully having a conversation with him will bring you closer to knowing. It is true there are dishonest people in the world and it’s perfectly reasonable and healthy to be suspicious when you get the sense that you’re with someone who’s lying to you. However, there are times where we ourselves are paranoid…if that’s not what you want with me or in general, 100% in your mind, heart, body and soul… I don’t think it makes you a bad person, I wouldn’t hate you, I wouldn’t be mad at you.Life is complicated and the heart wants what the heart wants. “When I saw this, it just doesn’t line up with someone who wants to be 100% exclusive. “Life is to short to spend our time, energy and youth on something that isn’t spectacular. I’m fine with either and if you don’t want that, we can part ways as friends – sincerely, no hard feelings.So this may or may not be a situation you need to say NO to…
That is not to say that no effort goes into the relationship – my statement is that the work that the relationship takes doesn’t feel like effort… a meaningful contribution to something worthy, fulfilling and great.A problem with suspicion and snooping is: the more you fear and suspect, the more that fear and suspicion eats away at you and creates more fears and suspicions!This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. You have to remember that you don’t know his full story yet.I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.
People are so quick to snap up something half-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more.